omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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