I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
