Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
