Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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