Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
