His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
