I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
