U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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