My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
