i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
