he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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