Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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