Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
