yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
