so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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