i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
