i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
