Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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