So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
