Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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