i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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