I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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