So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
