I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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