do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
