he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Less talking, more tequila
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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