I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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