sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
