How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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