You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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