OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She's the barista slut.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
