I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
