it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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