I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
