I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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