There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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