She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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