i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
