On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
