pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
