We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
