super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
honey bunches of taint.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
