I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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