I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I still have a little drunk in my system
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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