Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
