So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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