Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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