you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I touched a dick in church today
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
that is very illegal...i love you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
