I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
