It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I will be naked everywhere
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize