got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
you never un-have a 4some
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
