i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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