dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
