I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
