it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
