it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
two words: eviction party
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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