upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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