so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
