i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
