what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
