A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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