Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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