he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
