I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
