Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
