I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
