I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
