Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
