the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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