Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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