R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
