I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The air taste purple.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
