There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
