i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
