Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
