i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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