Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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