Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
